Saturday 28th October ‘95
Hi!! I’m at B.S.G. and it’s brill! My writing is a bit funny because my righ thumb has a tight plaster on it - I was grating some cheese and found I wasn’t grating the cheese at all! It was my thumb! By the way I hope you like my “f”s I’ve changed them a bit. It’s the second to last day of half term, still I like school especially games! We went out and bought a track-suit, jogging bottoms two thin jumpers and that’s it! I’ve written to 2 people asking to be a penfriend but neither have replied. Oh well! Bye for now!!
6th Nov ‘95
Dear Diary, my friends have conivnced me to go out with Jo Halifax! Plan: either when he phones up or I phone him, I’ll ask him to come round on a fixed date (hopefully Saturday) and I’ll ask him out! I don’t know what I’ll do if he can’t make it. As for Mark I’ll see how things go. I’ll tell Jo. it’s just fun and all that. Wish me luck!
24th November ‘95
The plan about Jo. Never worked. In fact he never phoned me up in all this time! Still, I never said to him anything like thankx for phoning so he’s given up I think. I’m a bit ill but I hope to go to the meeting just ‘cause of Mark! He did a brilliant bible reading the other day I felt like I was his mother or something! And he has a beautiful mature voice! Oh, he is gorgeous! I want to snog him right now! See you!
8th December ‘95
Around the 30th of November I had a dream. We were in the back-garden of Chaldecot gdns and I was with Julian and I had my present CD player and we were dancing Slow and close - you know! And I’ve only just thought of writing it down! Today on the bus we caught up with the mixed school’s bus and there was a really cute boy in the back - I waved and he waved back!
I was just thinking about that dream and Mark R. and the J.W.s disco and I’ve just thought - it’s in January! Cool! And I’m getting older! I can’t wait!
Mum got a new C.D. - The Blues Brothers. It’s Friday, so I’m free! I still fancy Mark! I’m getting an electronic organiser soon! But don’t worry, I’ll never get rid of you! See Ya!
16th December
Dear diary, do you like my pen? I bought it today! Kerry has being inturupting me about what Postman Pat looks like! And, guess what, we saw Mark R. and his dad!!! He didn’t seem to stare at me in great awe, well, he didn’t even look me in the eye! Never mind, I’d better let it drop. It’s Saturday today and I’m trying to get to the meeting tomorrow. Last Sunday I went I had a dreadful coughing fit and I had to go home! Still, I‘ll try! Now, I’ve got to go to sleep bye!!
19th January ‘96
Hi diary. I’ve been reading you and I’m glad I always write in you.
…………… I have so many things to say I don’t know how to word them! It’s a Friday. Lucy Abbey has been round and I like to be alone in a quiet environment when I write so it’s taken me ‘till 8p.m.! I’ve got my electronic organiser and it wakes me up every morning. We’ve got a new game - dream phone. Cool, Aye?! I currently read Catch at £1.30 - 10p cheaper than It’s Bliss! I’m doing O.K. at school. I’m about to write to Stephen. Yes, 6”5, 17-year-old Karen’s son. Now, the interesting part, I had another dream - Jo V. This time!
I ran up to him - he was in a soft green jumper - and hugged him with my ear to his chest, he was all warm and soft. He was going somewhere and I wouldn’t let him go! It was lovely! Now I want to go out with him! I think I just want to be loved. I keep trying to kid myself that I can’t date out of the truth and I must date with a view to marry. I don’t want to marry, I just want to be loved. Mark won’t provide that. But Jo will. I keep day-dreaming about sending him a latter and arranging to meet him but I’m not too sure of where he lives, andway I wouldn’t have the guts. And what would happen if I were rejected? I’d be heartbroken! All my feelings are all mixed about, what can I do? I’m not going to write again until I find a way out….
20th January ‘96
Hi diary! Jehovah provided an answer in one day! I can’t believe it! This is what happened…. I said to mum I was missing Jo + Jo. She said I could always go up on my bike. I said Yeah, but…
“Jess that’s your problem” she said “It’s holding you back. You’re missing out… you’ve got plenty of that coming when you’re an adult don’t let it rule your childhood too!” You know what? She is right! I looked in the phone book today and Jo V lives at 127 East Howe Lane! When the next half term comes I’m going to Jo H’s house then, if I can, go to Jo V’s house and go down the park or my house or something. I do fancy both of them but I think I miss them more than anything. It’ll be great! So many things are going through my mind like Jo V has a girlfriend already and I go out with Halifax and we all go to the park together. There’s lots of romance, hand holding etc. I can’t wait! I can handle rejection. Jo H is in love with me anyway. I’m not telling any of my school friends though, they’d just laugh, still I fancy ‘em and that’s all that counts! See ya!
Same day
I’ve just been in the shower. I got Custard out. I might go to Jo’s house sooner. As for Mark, well, 5 more years won’t hurt! Right now I’m gonna enjoy life!
Friday 29th March ‘96
It’s about 2:30pm and I’m on the loo! I’ve been reading [this diary] and I always seem to write on a Friday, weird! I’m off early from school today ‘cause it’s end of term. Last Friday I went to Youth Club with Clare Burbidge and I saw Jo V. there! Wow! He goes “hello friend…” and he looked really embarassed! I never talked to him all evening. I bet he didn’t know I knew Clare! He had done something to his arm and had bright blue plaster cast on it! Hang on a sec… Sorry about that I had to flush the loo. I’ve got my ears pierced you know. I had another dream. Nothing exciting, just me dancing with Mark at a disco. I have to read a book called Watership Down and I’m going to read it now. Byeeee!
23.4.96
Guess what, it’s a Tuesday and NOT a Friday anyway Custard died! Arrrghh! On the 8.4.96. We went out and bought a new one the same day. We called it Whisper, and she’s a girl. Pippy’s O.K. but he looks like an old fart in comparison. Teresa Druce came round and we went shopping and I got my hair cut. I also saw Jo. V. again! It was in Bournemouth but he just walked past, I think I ignored him and he ignored me! I’m weally, weally tired. I’ve just thought - look at Scribble page the revenge! Bye.
Hello Dias! It’s the 24th of May ‘96. 1 month and 1 day since I last wrote. Listen to this. I wanted to write yesterday which was a Friday AND exactly 1 month since last time! Weird! Anyway, right now, I officially declare, in blue and white, I LOVE KEANU REEVES!!!!! And to show it, I’m dedicating my scribble pages to him! Also I got a noooooo pencil tin. But best of all, we got SPEED!! With Keanu in! To watch whenever I want!!! Anyway bye for now.
On that note let’s leave it there: tune in again next week!!