I think I'm in love - with my thesaurus
Today we start the second diary of my childhood.
This one is A4 size, hardback, spiral bound and ruled. From the outset I have only written on one side of the paper, so that ink and impressions from biro pens do not interfere with the other side. Towards the end I do turn the book over and write a few pages on the other side. In the back, I have some names, addresses and phone numbers, a scribble page, and a page where there is occasional written conversations with friends or quotes from them saying things at school.
Let’s begin!
Inside cover inscription:
Journal of Jessica Burton, started age 13 1/2. (A turbulent age: Beware anyone with a weak heart - get out now!)
1997 - 1998
(June)(August)
28th July 1997
I’ve just come back from Boscombe to get this book (a journey rife with danger and scary things). It’s a first in the history of my life that I travelled somewhere ALONE (well, that’s a bit of a lie, really. I went with Kerry, my sister).
Now I’ve got my lunch. Cheese + pickle roll x2 (with v. annoying seasme seeds on.) And 1 “Break 2” - Kezz has just told me. It seems mine was hiding.
The summer holidays are sooo empty without Mr Howard. And we’re not even having him next year! We (the sources of all knowledge) found out it was Mrs. Pellat. No-one appreciates us. Anyway. Finished lunch and now my pen is leaking. It’s made a large blob on my finger.
I’m gonna write everyday because I’m on a diet and (I’ve heard) people see it through if they write about it. Yeah, right. I’ll just talk about my day instead. See ya!
29th July
Hi, I’ve just come out of the shower (an achievement I ever went in in the first place) and I refused a chocolate biscuit. The blob on my finger hasn’t gone - even after a shower! Ah well. See ya later.
6:02pm
Me + Kezz have come up with this:
ALL men are like love songs: boring, slow, or both.
1st August 1997 Well, the second actually.
Right. It’s quarter to one in the morning. I always write my best entries at times like this - don’t worry. My best entries are also my best when a strong emotion has errupted and two just have.
The first is the usual v. strong passion for Quentin McCloud (ginger hair, green eyes - get the picture?) phrases like “I need you” and “Will you love me as much as I love you?” arise frequently. And, of course, the second one. Ahem. Scene: Cinema, Men In Black, Jason + Nigel arrive unexpectedly, bit steamy etc. I have been in shower, washed face with cleanser, cleaned teeth, washed hair, ironed dress - I look like a godess and, whether they noticed or not, they are privilidged to know me at that moment. So, naturally, I feel good about myself and (here’s the mistake) I talk about it.
AAAWWWOOOGGGAAAHHH!
BIG Mistake!
Ego before: [I have drawn a circle] (a little more than average)
Ego after: (enhanced 3 gazillion times)
. ←
Pah! Thanks alot. Call yourselves family. BUG OFF! (Quote - sorry) I just wanted to run out and find someone who does love me.
I really want to be special. I don’t know how. Telepathy? Flying? No. Not flying. You know, I think I have a kind of kinship with animals and babies. Especially the ones too young to talk. Like I can telepathically soothe them - not physically. Oh I dunno. Maybe we’ve all got it - I just noticed more. At this age - I need two parents. I need as much love as pos. and cos I ain’t got it, I’m looking for it - in anyone and everyone. I need love. Somebody love me!!!!! No idea no idea no idea no idea no idea…
2nd August
I feel better now. Just a bit emotional. I’ve done a u-turn now - do you know how many alternative words there are for love? No? 32! Here, have a list: 1.cherish 2.hold dear 3.idolize 4.prize 5.treasure 6.worship 7.appreciate 8.desire 9.embrace 10.enjoy 11.fancy 12.like 13.relish 14.savour 15.caress 16.cuddle 17.fondle 18.kiss 19.pet 20.adulation 21.affection 22.ardour 23.devotion 24.fondness 25.friendship 26.infatuation 27.liking 28.passion 29.rapture 30.regard 31.tenderness 32.warmth.
Quite a list, huh? I think I’m in love - with my thesaurus. Oh, and Peter Andre. He’s just lovely, gorgeous and kind all in one. The only man of his kind - I’m sure. In my experience, looks and personality never come together but in him they do. He’s so tender and caring. Anyone who won’t credit him that is mad! And I’m not just saying that - it’s true! Anyway, see ya later.
Live free
3rd August 1997 Sunday 5:30
Hi. I thought about P.A. all the way through the meeting. Gorgeous. I really love him, he’s great etc. I’m going to the cinema to see Men In Black again. With Teri + co. It’s gonna be cool. Write ya later.
P.S. Wrote to Stephen, entered a competition and wrote to a penpals bit of a mag.
6:05
Hi. I’ve just done the Peter Andre thing on the back - cool init! I’ve got to kill half an hour. How can I do it? Erm… I could do my horse scraper-foil. Yeah. I’ll do that. See ya!
10:30
Hi. I’ve seen MiB. Was cool. Not much to say. Still love Peter Andre. Bye.
That’s it for this week. Let’s hope this Peter Andre phase passes!
Jess